Wayward Mermaid Confessions And Nervous Feelings

So what do you guys think about the new look? To be honest I just got tired of staring at nothing but darkness so I wanted to add some color and life to the blog. I like it this new look a lot better than the last one and I hope you guys do too.

So this week I have two things I wanted to talk about. The first one is something that I've actually wanted to talk about for a little while now. When I first started blogging when I was 17 I wanted to have a place where I could put all my thoughts and feelings and not be judged or criticized for it. But every time I started I always kept back something.

I can't say that.

People will think I'm weird.

No one would want to read that. 

I never really felt like I had a safe space, other than my journal. Then a few weeks ago May-May and I were working on music and he asked if I wanted to go swimming. I love the water so of course I jumped at the offer. We changed into our trunks and swam around and around and just talked. It was very open and freeing just to talk to a friend about crazy ideas for the future, thoughts on romance and love, and small fears that we were both hoping to get over.

"So what do we call this?" he asked me as he swam over to the other side of the pool.

"I don't know....I always kind of felt like a mermaid in this pool ever since you made those tails."

"Hmm...Mermaid Confessions?"

"Wayward Mermaid Confessions!"

And whenever we want a to have a magical discussion we say "Wayward Mermaid Confession?" and then grab our trunks and our tails and head to the pool where the moon and the stars are our only light.

(a picture of Selene my mermaid goddess)

But I wanted to extend that magic to all of you. I want the blog to be a place where people can say something that they are afraid to say elsewhere, or to ask questions that they are too afraid to ask. This is a safe place for everyone. Here we are all family and there is nothing but love and acceptance.

The second thing is this. 

Tomorrow I perform at the Dallas Academy of Burlesque and I'm already starting to get butterflies. The thought of being on stage thrills me to no end. I can't wait for that but still something in me shaking and partially freaking out. This was something that I confessed to May-May and he told me that maybe the reason why I'm nervous is because I just jumped into the class. There was some thought before I signed up but it was more a snap-decision. Part of me agreed with this but another part had a different reason. I am a firm believer that you shouldn't care about what strangers think of you but we all have insecurities and to say that I don't have any would be a lie. I am worried about messing up on stage or people thinking my routine is stupid or any number of things that could go wrong. I know I can't listen to these thoughts though. Thinking something bad will happen will actually cause something bad to happen. Positive thoughts will make positive things happen. So tonight after I get back from work I'm going to take a nice hot bath and light some candles and relax. 

(drawn by the amazing Colours07)

So that's what I have for you all this week. Also if you haven't checked out my art contest you really should. And one more thing, I'm adding two new segments to the blog. Memory Lane Mondays, done at the first of monday each month, and Tell Me About It Tuesdays where I'll give you guys insights on what May and I like to do when we're not doing C.C. business. Also if you guys want to email us any thoughts or questions (casanovacupcake@hotmail.com) we are more than happy to listen and/or answer.

Til next time,

Icing kisses,

J.S.