Gone, But Never Forgotten

So last night I spent hours with May-May working on my vest for my burlesque routine. We spent hours, and I do mean hours, bedazzling the back of my vest to make it look like a sugarskull. As we worked I saw the rainbow of colors and I was taken back to when I was a little kid.

 I would be in my grandmother's downstairs bedroom playing with her jewelry and she would smile and tell me stories about where she got all of her pieces.Sometimes we would play dominos and drink Diet Coke and she would always cheat at the game but she would never admit to it. She always was a sore loser. My grandmother always treated me more than a child. She would let me walk around the neighborhood when my mom wouldn't even let me walk across the street. Sometimes she would take me to work with her at the County Office and she would let me type on her typewriter and she would want to read my little short stories. And I loved how every time my brother had a baseball game she would ask me if I wanted to spend the weekend with her because she knew how much I detested going to the games.

(This is one of my favorite pictures of her)

My grandmother was a fierce and independent woman. She always spoke her mind and always made a chance to let us know that we all needed to love each other. We would always spend Christmas Eve at her house and we would eat and then open presents. But she would do something else that everyone would be looking forward to each year.  She would make the most amazing spice drink during Christmas and no one was able to recreate it. We would always ask how she got it to taste so good and she would just smile at she would say it was a secret recipe and one day we would learn it but that day wasn't today.

I really loved this woman. She would be one of the first people to call me on my birthday and she came to every party till she just couldn't anymore.  My grandmother had Parkinson's Disease and it really took a toll on her as she got older. We had to move her to Assisted Living and then we found out later that she had a mild case of Dementia. It was really hard to see the woman that I admired and love waste away. There were times when I was in school and I just couldn't see her but when I did her eyes would lock on mine and she would listen to me ramble on about nothing at all but she would be hanging on every word. 

She's been dead for a little over two years now but last night I swear I felt her. I was back in her downstair's bedroom, laying her jewelry over the purple carpet as she was told me stories about her yellow broach or rings that she was going to give my mom when she passed away. She never knew about C.C. but I have a very strong feeling that she would have been a fan. She was a very supportive person when it came to gay people.  I wonder if she would have liked what May-May and I did.

I wonder if she would have gone to my first burlesque performance on stage? She would have had a heart attack over some of the guys I know but I think she would have been happy for me. At least she'll be there in spirit.

(My grandmother and me at my 6th birthday party)

You only get one shot at life people. Make sure you make plenty of happy memories with those that you love. That way they will always live in your heart and you'll never really lose them.

Till next week, and that's a promise.

Icing kisses 

Jay