Hello, Sprinkles. You're probably wondering "where the hell has Casanova Cupcake been". Well, November was National Novel Writing Month and that took up most of my time for the month. The rest of it was used on working on music and ideas for the show. Also the last month was used for soul searching by May and myself. Sometimes life just gets you and you wonder if any you do is worth the trouble. And it is. There were a lot of personal ups and downs that, I know, I had to filter through and certain questions that needed answers. The letters will start back up either at the end of this week or the middle of next. I'm trying to get all my Christmas shopping done that way all I have to worry about is updating.
Thanks for reading, Sprinkles. Talk to you soon.
Icing kisses,
J.S.
Thursday, December 8, 2011
Saturday, September 17, 2011
Asylum Letter VIII
Hello, Sprinkles. I'm so sorry for the late post. I've been working to raise money for our fiances and May has started back at school. We're working around schedules but we still make time for you. We've been recording more music and videos and the latter will be posted soon. After this next recording session the album will be that much closer to finishing. I believe we have two songs left, maybe one. It's so hard to keep track nowadays. Well on to the main event. The latest Asylum Letter.
“Well, handsome, we’ve finally have a plan to escape this godforsaken place.” He purred.
“Dr. Purge is ready for you.” Another orderly appeared behind him as the first one unlocked the door.
“Have fun, handsome.” Naughty winked before returning to his usual corner as I was taken by the arm by each of the men and led down the corridor back to Dr. Purge.
“About time you get here, cabin boy.” She said. “Hurry and get yourself something to eat.”
I opened the door. I saw maps of all the seas covering the walls as well as strange and exotic trinkets from the captain’s past adventures. The captain’s bed was on the far side of the room and desk near the window. Candle lights flickered by the window as Mad Ness looked up from her papers.
“Lobotomy’s key.” He said. “She was in a hurry and I was able to take it from her.” He smiled.
“I need to see all patients, Elizabeth.” Someone said. “Reading records and reports is nothing compared to seeing them with my own eyes.”
Sincerely
Asylum Letter VIII from May-May Macabre at the Bastille Asylum for Misfits and Miscreants
The Peaceful Reign
It has been a month since Dr. Smyth’s death and the Asylum has had an eerie calm loom over it. Almost like the eye of a hurricane. There is an overabundance of silence. So much that you think that they very air from your lips will break and shatter all around. And in a blink of an eye the world turned over and the gale force winds break and destroy everything in their wake.
Ever since Jay’s episode, Naughty keeps more and more every day. It’s not because he frighten me but it’s the fact that Jay is hardly ever around. He’s usually more in control but Naughty seems to be taking the reins. And another puzzling thing is that Naughty hasn’t been himself. Normally he would have seduced an orderly, bashed someone’s head against the bars, kissed an inmate, or at least mock Nurse Lobotomy but he hasn’t. He’s quiet most of the time talking to himself or Jay. He keeps mumbling and scheming about how to escape. I would love to see the sea again but I wonder how Naughty would find us a way out. There are many floors and many locked doors between our cell and the main gates. Before Dr. Smyth’s death some windows were left unbarred but now every opening in the Asylum either as a lock or iron bars over it.
For the first week every inmate was interrogated by police and staff. Dr. Sodheim and Dr. Purge took great enjoyment in this. To them, along everyone else outside these walls, we were lesser creatures and therefore they were allowed to use any means necessary to extract whatever information we had about the dead doctor. Which was nothing. When it was Jay’s turn to be interrogated he told him of his visions of a man pushing Dr. Smyth out from his office window. Of course they didn’t believe him. The police ruled the death as an accidental suicide much to Lobotomy’s disappointment. She believed her father was sane and therefore could not have killed himself. She kept claiming that he was murdered. The police never told her about Jay’s visions because to them it was nothing more than the ravings of a lunatic.
I believe Jay saw something when he dealt those cards. He knew that I imagined the sea when I had my first leeching with Dr. Purge. He has a gift and his words should be heeded…yet things have been well here. Hardly any problems have risen. Maybe once, just this once, he could be wrong?
When I was a child I hated baths but now I miss them terribly. Bathing at the Asylum consists of standing outside, nude, against a cold stone wall and all the residents, of whatever ward you are in, join you as the orderlies throw buckets of cold water at all of you. You only have a few minutes to wipe away whatever filth that doesn’t cling to you. Afterwards you were given back your rags and then you are locked back in your cell. This happens once a week. But now that winter has begun to set in we’re allowed a small warm bowl of, questionable, broth. Enough to keep us warm and not catch pneumonia.
It was after we got locked back in our cell that Naughty spoke to me.
“Well, handsome, we’ve finally have a plan to escape this godforsaken place.” He purred.
“What do you mean?” I asked. He closed his eyes and opened them again.
“May,” Jay began as he took over. “Naughty and I have been watching and listening. We’ve mapped out the Asylum, orderlies’ schedules, and made a list of things we’ll need to finally leave here. And our moment will be soon, very soon.”
“But how?” Jay went to speak but stopped as an orderly approached. His eyes were set on me.
“Dr. Purge is ready for you.” Another orderly appeared behind him as the first one unlocked the door.
“Soon.” Jay whispered.
“Have fun, handsome.” Naughty winked before returning to his usual corner as I was taken by the arm by each of the men and led down the corridor back to Dr. Purge.
“Werr rook who hele now”. Dr. Purge grinned. “Babies,” He called. “Time for dinnaw!”
I was strapped down to my usual chair and the metal cage was placed over my head again. The orderlies left as Purge danced off to the leech jars. After my first feeding with Purge I was terrified of being strapped down again and have the leeches on my arms. The first week I had nightmares of falling into a sea of leeches and being devour by their many teeth. But after several more sessions my unease for the creatures passed. They could not control their actions. They were hungry and this was their meal. It was no different for a person thirsty for water. No, I no longer feared the leeches. Dr. Purge wielding anything sharp was a different story. The blade would change for each feeding. Today he held a butcher’s knife.
“Look what I have fow you today.” He said passing his hand along the blade. He brushed the side of it along my upturned arms. I almost flinched as the cold metal touched my skin but thankfully I was able to compose myself. Purge liked seeing his subjects in fear.
“What? You no play today?” Quickly, he made shallow cuts along my arms. I bit my lip hard so no sound would escape. “You think you stwong? You bweak soon enough.” He snapped on some gloves before dipping his hand into the jar. “They ahways bweak.”
I closed my eyes as I felt the familiar teeth sink into my skin. I didn’t want to be here with Purge. I wanted to be home with my family and my captain.
*****
“LAND HO’!” I heard someone shout from the crow’s nest.
I climbed up the steps and out on to the deck. The sky was painted with orange, yellow, and purple. The clouds were scarce and the stars were beginning to appear. I looked over to see the shore of some beach and what looked like a village beyond that.
“Thank God.” I heard Captain Mad Ness exclaim. “I’ve been dying to have a drink for days.”
We soon docked for the night. The captain and the rest of my shipmates made their way to the pub and market as I watched over the ship. I hadn’t been with them for long, maybe a month and a half. I was cleaning the deck when someone called out to me. It was Mr. Vance, the captain’s first mate.
“May-May!” He cried out.
“Sir?” I asked poking my head over the side of the ship.
“Have you finished cleaning, boy?”
“I’m about done.”
“As soon as you get done come to the far side of the beach, supper is being made.”
I nodded to him and began to hasten my pace. I finished a few minutes later and hurried to the beach. The sky had become dark by then. I saw light coming from where Mr. Vance had said everyone would be at. I found many of the men drunk and laughing. Some were playing music, others were eating. I found the captain sitting by the roaring fire talking to Mr. Vance when she saw me.
“About time you get here, cabin boy.” She said. “Hurry and get yourself something to eat.”
“Aye, Captain.” I said grabbing some bread and fish.
I sat around listening to stories and laughs from everyone until the captain turned to Mr. Vance.
“Play me something, Vance. I feel like dancing.” All the chatter stopped suddenly and I looked up to see that everyone was gathered around me. All eyes were on the captain as she removed her coat. She rolled up her sleeves and removed her bracelets. She grabbed her bag and picked up two metal rods with something blacks on each of the ends.
Mr. Vance began to play a tune on his flute and someone else joined in on violin. The captain poured some kind of liquid into a silver chalice and walked over to the fire and passed the rods through the flames. The two ends caught on fire and the captain began to twirl the rods between her fingers. Soon she was skipping and spinning making the flames dance. Even the camp fire seemed to sway with every move. She smiled as the flames jumped and even more when we all started to clap in time. The music began to get faster and faster and we all clapped along. Suddenly the captain threw both of her torches into the air. I gasped in fear. What if something happened to her? But no one seemed at all frightened. In one quick motion the captain took a swig from the chalice and grabbed both the torches before spitting a beautiful arch of fire into the night sky. She took a torch and slowly brought it to her mouth. She popped the torch into her mouth and extinguished the flame blowing the smoke from her lips.
We erupted into applause as the captain bowed to us all.
*****
Not long after we all returned to the ship to get some rest before we left in the morning. But I couldn’t sleep. I was amazed by the captain’s performance. As soon as everyone had turned in for the night I snuck out of my bunk. I made my way quietly up the stairs and to the captain’s quarters. I brought up my hand and knocked on the door.
“Who the devil is it?” She asked from behind the wood.
“May-May, Captain.” There was a brief pause.
“Enter.”
I opened the door. I saw maps of all the seas covering the walls as well as strange and exotic trinkets from the captain’s past adventures. The captain’s bed was on the far side of the room and desk near the window. Candle lights flickered by the window as Mad Ness looked up from her papers.
“What is it, May-May?” She asked. “It’s late and we have to ship off tomorrow.”
“I had a question for you.”
“Yes?”
“How did you that? With the fire?” She smiled.
“I learned that from an old friend many years ago.” She said.
“It was very beautiful.” I said.
“Thank you.”
“I was…I was wondering do you…I mean is there any way I could learn to do that?”
“Are you sure?” She asked. “It can be very dangerous, May-May. Fire hurts those that don’t respect.” She touched her side. “And sometimes even those who respect it are reminded of their limitations.”
“I would still like to learn.” I said. “I want to be as great as you, Captain. I want us to dance together some day.”
She smiled at me. “Come here, May-May” I came to her side as she brought one of her candles from behind her to the desk. “Watch the flame.” She said. “See how easily it bends and sways.” I nodded. “Fire is always looking for an escape. It doesn’t like to be contained. A small candle can easily become a raging inferno. One must learn how to handle it carefully. If I am to teach you, you must be patient and listen to everything I tell you to do. Is that understood?”
“Aye, Captain.”
“You’ll start practice, without torches first, tomorrow night. But for now, I believe it is time for bed.”
“Aye.” I nodded. “But could you show me one more trick? Please, Captain.”
“I suppose so.” The captain smiled and brought three more candles over to the desk. “Watch my hands closely now. Slowly she passed her hands over the candles. Each flame bending in the direction her hand went. Quickly she passed her hand over the two candles to the left blowing out the flames. She brought two fingers to one of the other candles and passed it over into the small flame. My eyes grew wide as the flame passed over on to her fingers. She touched each of the wicks of the candles and relit them before blowing the flame on her fingers out.
*****
I woke up dizzy and found that I was being dragged back to my cell. The walls seemed to spin more after each turn was made. I was tossed back in and I heard the door small shut. I felt Jay’s hand on my shoulder.
“We don’t have long to rest my friend.” He said. “Look.” I slowly opened my eyes to see something dangling from Jay’s hand.
“Is that?”
“Lobotomy’s key.” He said. “She was in a hurry and I was able to take it from her.” He smiled.
“Jay, I don’t think I can run right now. Everything is still spinning.”
“We don’t have the time for this.” Naughty groaned. “We have to go now before it’s too late.”
“Something’s not right.” Jay said. “In my dream there was a storm but the sun is out today.”
“So?” Naughty sighed.
“Something just doesn’t feel right.” He said. “Now’s not the time.”
“Of course it is!” Naughty snapped. “Lobotomy is going to notice her key is missing sooner rather than later and she is going to come back here for it.”
“If we leave now then something worse than a few days in Solitary might happen.”
My head began to ache. I heard Jay gasped and I looked up to him.
“What’s wrong?”
“He’s here.” He whispered.
“Who?”
“The prodigal son returns to reclaim his throne.”
“Jay?”
I heard the doors slam open and the sounds of many footsteps echoed in the hall. I could hear voices too as they drew closer.
“….Really necessary? You’ve only been here for a few minutes.” I heard Nurse Lobotomy say
“I need to see all patients, Elizabeth.” Someone said. “Reading records and reports is nothing compared to seeing them with my own eyes.”
The footsteps stopped. Lobotomy, accompanied by Horace and Jasper, and a strange new man stood on other side of the bars. His brown hair was oiled and smoothed back. He wore golden rimmed glasses and a fine suit and shoes. I heard Jay gasp again before moving back to the corner of the cell. His eyes fixed on the new man. He looked terrified. I looked up back up to the man and saw that his eyes were black. They void in them seemed almost endless. A smile came to his lips and it looked almost hungry.
The sky rumbled outside.
“Who are you?” I asked.
“My name is Eriq Bastille.” The man said. “I will be taking over this asylum as well as the position of Chief of Medicine. ‘Doctor’ or ‘Sir’ will be appropriate.” He smiled to himself. “I’m looking forward to getting to know you both.” I felt a cold shiver run down my spine. This man was not to be trusted. Could he have been the dark figure from Jay’s nightmares?
“It’s good to be home.”
May-May Macabre
Tuesday, July 26, 2011
Asylum Letter VII
Asylum Letter VII from Jay Scarlet at the Bastille Asylum for Misfits and Miscreants
Visions
I banged on the padded cell door in vain. I had to escape from this place before it went up in flames. I slid down the door and rested my head on the floor. Darkness was my only companion. No light was going to break through. But I could still see it despite the shadows. The blood, the fire, and the screams that enveloped the Asylum were still fresh on my mind. Death was coming and it was going to take us all.
***
It had happened just before Lobotomy came to do her nightly rounds. May-May was playing with Phelicks on the far side of our cell. I smiled at the two of them as I shuffled the cards. I don’t know how they came to be lost in the first place but one day Phelicks was at the window and he dropped a pouch into the cell. It was a nice emerald cloth pouch and inside was the cards. I had never been to a fortuneteller or Gypsy but somehow I knew what the cards meant every time I used them. I saw things through the cards just like I saw things in my dreams. I had been able to divine things in a much clearer way but it had taken some practice. I cut the deck three times and closed my eyes.
What does the future have in store? I thought.
I flipped the first card. It was a happy family standing outside a cottage and above the house was ten cups in an arch. The card represented my past and how everything was perfect then. My marriage, my career, my entire life was fine until Naughty and I killed Sarah and Ronald. I frowned as I turned over the second card and it was reversed, upside down. It was a blindfolded woman surrounded by eight swords staked into the ground. The card represented the present and that things that were already bad were going to get worse. What? What did this mean?
I heard something shatter, like something being thrown through glass. I looked up. A window? I looked over to May-May and Phelicks and neither of them seemed to have heard anything. I closed my eyes and I saw something. It was very dark but I could make out two figures. One was an older man by a window and he was staring out. The other figure was a younger man. He ran over and pushed the older man into the glass. It easily broke and the older man fell to the ground. The image faded into nothing. I shook my head and turned over the final card, the one meant for the future. A tower being destroyed by lightning bolt lay at my fingertips.
No.
Pain exploded behind my eyes and I screamed as fell backwards. I hit the ground and held my head as horrible images began to flood my sight. There was a storm raging outside. The only light given to me was the lightning strikes. I was running from something but I couldn’t tell what. As I ran I heard my feet stomping into something wet. I felt liquid splatter underneath me and when the lightning flashed all I could see was red. Blood flowed from the cages. Bodies lay in every direction. Some of them horribly mutilated beyond recognition and others looked as if they were just sleeping. Finally I reached a door and I quickly opened it. Inside I was shocked to find Lizzie Lobotomy dead on the floor before me. I looked up to find a man. There was something dark about him and I knew it the instant I saw him. He wore fine clothes and spectacles. His brown hair was slicked back but I could sense great evil from him. Then I saw the blade in his hand. This twisted, jagged piece of metal was bloody and the man smiled. The lightning flashed again and I felt a horrible burning in my chest. The man had pulled out a handkerchief and began to clean his weapon. I fell to my knees and the blood started to pour from my chest. I looked over to see that May-May was next to Lizzie. Dead. And I would be next. The man took off his glasses and tossed them to the floor. A golden throne appeared before him and he sat down on it.
“I will destroy you all, Jason.” He said to me. “There will be no one left alive. Innocent or guilty they all will die at my hand.” He smiled. “Just try and stop me”
The lightning cracked and the ceiling began to cave around all of us. The last thing I heard before everything went dark was his horrible laugh.
“Jay? Jay!” I woke up to May shaking me. He was coming. The man from my vision was coming and soon. Someone was going to die tonight and that would be the first of the grizzly body count.
“Alright, boys, time for bed.” I heard someone say. Lobotomy! Despite our mutual hatred for each other I didn’t want her to die. Not at his hands. I jumped up from the floor and grabbed her hand just before she could unlock the door.
“Jay let her go!” May said trying to break my grip but I couldn’t. I had to warn her and everyone else here.
“Listen to me.” I said. “Something horrible is about to occur, something that will send this entire place into a spiraling bloody end. You have to listen to me!” I cried. She had the power to stop this, all of this.“I see death. All I see is death. There will be blood, so much blood.” I covered my ears. “I can still hear the sounds of their screaming. They’re all screaming.” The sound was deafening. The voices were too much.
Lobotomy shoved something in my face and the din broke instantly. The smell was awful. Everything started to sway and blur. And before I could even hit the floor I was unconscious.
***
I awoke in darkness. I was in the padded cell reserved for Solitary Confinement. How long had I been out?
“Not long.” I heard my other half say. “Maybe an hour or two. It’s so hard to tell time here.” He sighed.
“Naughty, did you see it too?”
“Yes.” He whispered.
“What do we do now?”
“What do you mean ‘what do we do’?” He spat. “No one will believe you. You didn’t believe yourself when you first began dreaming.” I felt Naughty sit next to me. “Besides why should we help anyone?”
“What about May? The other inmates?” I asked. “There are several people here that don’t deserve to be caged. People that have been betrayed, like you and I.”
“Fine.” He sighed. “We’ll help the others. This means lots of planning. Where do we start?”
In the darkness we began to plan our next move when I heard the door unlock. Light spilled in and I covered my eyes. I was shackled and chained and I was dragged back to my cell. After they unchained me I was thrown to the floor and the door was slammed shut.
“How long has it been?” I ask May.
“A few hours.” He told me. “They want all the inmates in their cells and accounted for.”
“Why?”
“Because Dr. Smyth is dead and they suspect he was murdered.”
“What?!” I exclaimed. “How did it happen?”
“He fell from his window.” May explained. “Dr. Sodheim believes it was a suicide or so I’ve heard.”
This was it, the beginning of the end. I slunk over to the corner.
“What’s wrong?” May asked.
“We have to escape, May.” I said. “Or else we are all going to die here.”
Sunday, July 10, 2011
Our First CD Giveaway
(I would like to apologize for the lateness of this post. I should have been here weeks ago but due to some technical difficulties I was unable to put this on the blog. Hope you all will forgive me for my tardiness)
Hey Sprinkles! Sorry for the delayed posting. Internet is in short supply here but we’ve been working our little Victorian bums off trying to finish Filthy Victorians in the Dark as soon as possible. There have been some difficulties but we’re so close to the finish line I can practically taste it. Also the promise of possible gigs and being on T.V., that’s right the ole boob-tube, have me practically giddy. But the main reason I am happy is because C.C. just had their first CD giveaway. It was our poetry EP Sugar (cubes) and Syringes and we were able to hand deliver the first three to some good friends and devoted sprinkles.
Our care package. It contained a hand-written letter from May-May Macabre (my handwriting is terrible but I have promised to write heartfelt emails but I may write letters in the future), a blood-stained Asylum hand-cuff for the inmate on-the-go, and of course the CD. Each care package was wrapped up in white and red tulle and tied together with some black ribbon. We met our sprinkles at Akon, the second biggest convention in the nation, and we had our own little get-together.
And the lucky girls were: Kirstie, Rebekah, and Christine are our first official owners of Sugar (cubes) and Syringes. We had recorded the experience but unfortunately the disc for the camera was corrupted and we lost all the footage. But we did get very nice pictures and it was a fun experience for all. Now we are working hard to get the money to send all of the CDs to everyone that ordered. We’re putting all our blood, sweat, tear, magic, and love into them. Be patient they will be there soon, Sprinkles.
Know that we love each and every one of you. You are our friends and family. Thank you all so much for sticking with us.
Sincerely,
Jay Scarlet
Sunday, April 17, 2011
Mapping The Road To World Domination: A Class With Veronica Varlow
I have always been a fan of Veronica. Ever since I saw my very first video of her on Youtube I was determined to meet this woman. And thankfully I was able to do this, not once but, twice! Here at the college I go to I've been going to all these motivational speakings. It has been very inspirational and after I met a man, Mr. Criox Sather, who was running across America, from coast to coast, I realized that there was something that I had never done. Once in high school my amazing Theatre teacher told us to write to someone that inspired us or was a hero to us. She wanted us to see if we would do it and to see if we would get a response. I sent my to Dean Koontz and I did get a reply. He was a very nice guy to do so but he wasn't really a hero of mine. He was the hero of my then,one and only, girlfriend. But I started to think...who is a real hero to me? Who is someone that makes me feel inspired? That makes me feel alive? Someone that is my family or loved one or friend. And then it came to me. Veronica Varlow.
After that first video I went on to research more about this woman and her profession. All I knew was that she was apart of Emilie Autumn's Bloody Crumpets and that was it. So I got on the Danger Dame website and started to read her blog. She has been through a lot and it inspired me to do more with my life. I started researching more on burlesque and boylesque and practicing my ass off. I started watching more videos and writing down all the ideas of routines I wanted to do. Getting to meet her was amazing but after the speech I realized that I wanted to write to her, my hero. So I did and I got a reply. She was really sweet and she offered me to take her class (see the title) for free. She wanted a personal C.C. CDs for her birthday this upcoming Friday as an exchange and I eagerly agreed.At first I thought the class would have been a dance class but I was wrong and boy I was happy to be wrong. It was another motivational class so this week has left me completely inspired. In the class we talked about parts of her life and questioned ourselves about what truly makes us happy. I had an amazing time with her and everyone else that was in the webinar. She gave a lot of good points. One of which is that you shouldn't let other people run your life. Don't follow their expectations of you or their "map". Tear that shit up and start drawing your own. And for this map you will need a check list. So let's begin our road trip.
2 Maintenance for your vehicle-You are the car and you must be taken care of. This means eating right, exercising, staying healthy, and of course having fun every once in a while. No one can be work and all play or else that makes you a dull person and in which case causes you to try and murder your family in a haunted hotel. But that's why we have fun so these things don't happen. Veronica talked about how she likes to put exotic scented oils on her bed sheets to help her relax.
3 TRAVEL COMPANIONS!-This was one of my favorite ones. Who is your travel companion? It can be a friend, a lover, a family member, whoever you want but as long as the person is enjoying the trip you are on. Meaning that people have to support you and what you do and if they don't you need to be around people that do. People that care about you and love you for who you are. This is what we all need. Great travel companions.
4 Baggage-It is always better to travel light. Whatever problems or issues that you're holding on to....Throw....Them....Out. You don't need it. It only weighs you down. Veronica had baggage from when she was a five-year-old and her ballet teacher told her that she was dancing "with clouds behind your eyeballs". Being five, and having no idea what the woman was talking about, Veronica never liked dancing until five years ago. She was afraid to do it and no she's a better person for dumping the unneeded bags.
5 Proper Wardrobe-If you're going to be something you need to dress the part. Veronica is working on a book and when she writes she wear a beret because that is what she believes a writer should wear when they are writing. So she goes down to the cafe' and starts typing out her book and she watches people stop by and ask if she is a writer. Make other people see your dream when they see you. So start wondering what is that you want to be and how can you show it?
7 Postcards-Whenever you're on vacation make sure that you send these. It shows that you are having a good time. No one writes a postcard saying "wow, this sucks. I wish I wasn't here". They talk about how they wish the person receiving the letter was with them. So Veronica gave us an assignment. Once a month we write a postcard to ourselves and reflect on the good things of that month.
She was a very inspirational teacher and I can't wait to take another one of her classes. I can't wait to go to New York someday and take an actual dance class with her. I also can't wait for the road trips I'm going to take this summer with my amazing boyfriend and of course my partners in crime, May and Roadie. And of course I'll be sending you tons of postcards, Sprinkles! I hope you guys can take some of the stuff I talked about an apply it to your lives. If not wait another month and sign up for Veronica's class. You'll see all the great stuff I got to see and I may even see you there.
Until next time, Sprinkles
Hugs and icing kisses,
Jay Scarlet
Friday, April 15, 2011
RIP Grandmother
My grandmother passed away a few weeks ago. She had had an ongoing battle with Parkinson's Disease for a large portion of her life. For the last few years she slowly wasted away in a hospital bed. She lost her mobility, her ability to eat, and finally her speech. In the last week of her life she stayed a sleep most of the time. On Sunday, March 27, 2011 she was no longer suffering.
My grandmother was an amazing woman. She always treated me like an adult even when I was just a child. She would always let me stay at her house on weekends instead of going to my older brother's baseball games. I loved her house and I loved her. When I was very little she would let me go across the street, a privilege not many children had, to go and get pizza for lunch. Halloween is one of my favorite holidays and she never once made that holiday anything but amazing. Christmas Eve was always at her house and she made her annual Christmas Cider, a recipe that no one has ever been able to duplicate. We would always open presents there and eat to our stomachs ached. She was District Clerk for a long time and everyone in town knew her. She was loved by many people.
As her sickness started to worsen, my grandmother was no longer able to live in her house alone. She had to moved into Assisted Living. Soon it was very easy to see that she was getting worse. Her appearance began to change and not for the better either. I would actually make excuses not to go see her because the woman in that bed was not my grandmother. I had convinced myself that she had died and that the woman in the bed was nothing more than a husk, a shell. As time passed I felt guilty for doing this but I did not change. Even when the hospice people told us that "this is it" or "she won't last the week". But my grandmother was a stubborn woman and she would not leave this earth until she was ready. In the last month I started seeing her again and as much as I was able to. She could hardly speak at this point. I would get down on my knees, so that I was eye-level with her, and I would talk to her. Her eyes would lock on mine and I knew that she was hanging on every word. I wanted to get the book that I had written last year and read it to her but I didn't get the chance to. I said goodbye to her the Thursday before her death. I kissed her head and did my best not to cry, which was all but impossible.
At her funeral I had an idea. As some of you know the album is going to be short a song and I thought that maybe I could write a song in honor of my grandmother. I had several conflicting thoughts later. Would any of my family want this? Would it be in bad taste? My grandmother never got the chance to know of Casanova Cupcake, as much as my family is right now, but I know she would have supported me in it no matter what. Or at least in the outfits. So yesterday I finally finished writing the lyrics to our next song. We'll start recording ASAP. I hope when it comes out you'll all enjoy it.
Also thank you to all the amazing people that wished me the best and said prayers for my family. We owe all of you so much.
Asylum Letters will continue some time next week.
With much love,
J.S.
My grandmother was an amazing woman. She always treated me like an adult even when I was just a child. She would always let me stay at her house on weekends instead of going to my older brother's baseball games. I loved her house and I loved her. When I was very little she would let me go across the street, a privilege not many children had, to go and get pizza for lunch. Halloween is one of my favorite holidays and she never once made that holiday anything but amazing. Christmas Eve was always at her house and she made her annual Christmas Cider, a recipe that no one has ever been able to duplicate. We would always open presents there and eat to our stomachs ached. She was District Clerk for a long time and everyone in town knew her. She was loved by many people.
As her sickness started to worsen, my grandmother was no longer able to live in her house alone. She had to moved into Assisted Living. Soon it was very easy to see that she was getting worse. Her appearance began to change and not for the better either. I would actually make excuses not to go see her because the woman in that bed was not my grandmother. I had convinced myself that she had died and that the woman in the bed was nothing more than a husk, a shell. As time passed I felt guilty for doing this but I did not change. Even when the hospice people told us that "this is it" or "she won't last the week". But my grandmother was a stubborn woman and she would not leave this earth until she was ready. In the last month I started seeing her again and as much as I was able to. She could hardly speak at this point. I would get down on my knees, so that I was eye-level with her, and I would talk to her. Her eyes would lock on mine and I knew that she was hanging on every word. I wanted to get the book that I had written last year and read it to her but I didn't get the chance to. I said goodbye to her the Thursday before her death. I kissed her head and did my best not to cry, which was all but impossible.
At her funeral I had an idea. As some of you know the album is going to be short a song and I thought that maybe I could write a song in honor of my grandmother. I had several conflicting thoughts later. Would any of my family want this? Would it be in bad taste? My grandmother never got the chance to know of Casanova Cupcake, as much as my family is right now, but I know she would have supported me in it no matter what. Or at least in the outfits. So yesterday I finally finished writing the lyrics to our next song. We'll start recording ASAP. I hope when it comes out you'll all enjoy it.
Also thank you to all the amazing people that wished me the best and said prayers for my family. We owe all of you so much.
Asylum Letters will continue some time next week.
With much love,
J.S.
Tuesday, March 15, 2011
The Door: An Evening With Emilie Autumn
Hello sprinkles! How have you been? Sorry this update is a few days late. My computer has caught yet another virus so I'm going to start saving up money for a new one. That'll probably help with future blog posts : ). So last Tuesday May and I were able to see Emilie Autumn again. It was definitely a night to remember.
And here we are with the Front Row Asylum Crew or F.R.A.C. We had fun posing with our Sprinkles/Plague Rats/Friends.
Afterwards we headed home and it was a long drive but thanks to Whataburger, and it's late night hours, we did not go hungry. It was a nice family reunion and we had a blast. Emilie already told us, via Maggot, that the CD was great and they enjoyed our cover of Manatee Retard. Like I said it was a night to remember and if you missed it my heart goes out to you. You were missed.
Asylum Letters will start back up ASAP, Sprinkles. I hope you're looking forward to it.
Icing kisses and love,
J.S.
We start off at our roadie's apartment to get ready for the day. This included breakfast, showers, shaving, pulling up our stockings, make up, early morning hijinks, and hair. There was a case of May's sleep sowing where he finished his corset in his sleep. Wonderful talent to have, agreed?
Here we have us doing our famous Michelle Horse Smile.
Michelle was a girl from a short lived teen reality series called Queen Bees. It was about girls who were bitches and were sent for rehabilitation. Michelle had a horse smile (as seen above) and she was one of our favorites so we always take at least one picture with her smile every chance we get.
May is the Make Up Magician here at C.C. He never disappoints me or anyone else. He powdered our faces and added bush, lipstick, and liquid eyeliner to the appropriate places and we turned out quite sexy if I do say so myself.
See? We do look sexy. May looks more like a clown and I think I am trying to imitate Natalie Portman.
Because you know, I'm crazy and I'm trying to be perfect. Just the minus the drugs and the lesbian relationship with Mila Kunis. I like my guys more. What can I say? So after we were all dolled up our tiny voodoo dolls waved good-bye to us as we headed to Dallas. There were minor complications though. Most of the consisted of our roadie swearing after missing the exit to the Prophet Bar and every turn after that. It was still an adventure and we more than happy to be on it. We finally arrived at our destination and May and Garrett, the roadie, went to grab some food at the nearby 7-11. I was all alone at the entrance and I was confused to why there wasn't a long line at the door. Suddenly an army of Plague Rats turned the corner and congregated by me. There was a slight mix up as to where the entrance would be so the PRs were on the other side of the building. After a few minutes May and I went inside for the VIP meet and greet. There we sampled Basil's Brew, a concoction made up by Emilie. This is coming from a former anti-tea activist, THIS WAS THE MOST AMAZING FUCKING TEA I HAD EVER TASTED. Caps too much? I'll keep them. So Emilie proceed to play her violin for us. She danced around us all and it was like we had come home from a long journey. And here we were, in another's home and we were being treated like family. Tea warmed our bodies and lovely music filled our ears and our souls. When the music was over we went to see Emilie. The first words out of her mouth was "how the fuck have you two been? I missed you!" And we were hugged. She asked tons of questions about our music and if we had progressed. We told her that we had and we gave her our first two cuts of Filthy Victorians in the Dark and Sugar(cubes) and Syringes and she was speechless.
She told us of our first demo and how much she liked it and that she couldn't wait to listen to it on the bus. She took a quick picture with us and gave each of us another hug and said to us the words that every student wants to hear from their mentor.
"I'm so proud of you and I love you both"
This pretty much made our night but the good times were still rolling and we weren't going to miss any of them. So as you know, Aprella is busy doing acting right now so she was unable to be at the concert. Emilie, Maggot, Veronica, and Contessa did a good job in Aprella's absence but you could tell she was missed. The night was amazing to say the least. We had tea spat on us, cupcakes thrown at us, and innocent girls corrupted for sick, sick pleasure on stage. There was fire, glitter, electric violin, aerial silk, burlesque dancing, stilt walking, and rock and roll. Still the feeling of family never left us. In fact it grew. We were all relatives at a reunion and we didn't want to leave. We wanted to be with our brothers, sisters, aunts, uncles, estranged cousins that only appear when there is alcohol...erm..."tea". All the weird freaks in the surrounding area were at home at the Asylum. We shared happy memories together that night and we can only hope for more from future concerts and of course with you, Sprinkles. This, sadly, was the end of the Opheliac part of the tour. Emilie's new album F.L.A.G. aka Fight Like A Girl will be released at the end of the tour and will replace Opheliac. Speaking of plug-ins for all of those who would like their free copy of Sugar(cubes) and Syringes please leave a message on our Facebook page. The deadline is March 25th so if you want one better hurry.
If we were females this is who C.C. would be.
Emilie was completely in her element as she played
You'd never fuck with Maggot. She's a pirate, she dances with fire, and she has an axe.
Veronica trying to corrupt us. Like that's at all possible :)
The Blessed Cannibal Contessa in all her wonder.
And is the winner of the Dallas, Texas Rat Game:
Our friend Kirstie! We practically threw that girl up there and she was enjoyably corrupted before all of us.
Afterwards we headed home and it was a long drive but thanks to Whataburger, and it's late night hours, we did not go hungry. It was a nice family reunion and we had a blast. Emilie already told us, via Maggot, that the CD was great and they enjoyed our cover of Manatee Retard. Like I said it was a night to remember and if you missed it my heart goes out to you. You were missed.
Asylum Letters will start back up ASAP, Sprinkles. I hope you're looking forward to it.
Icing kisses and love,
J.S.
Monday, February 14, 2011
Asylum Letter VI
Here we are, Sprinkles! The sixth installment of the Asylum Letters. I hope you enjoy it.
J.S.
Asylum Letter VI from Lizzie Lobotomy from the Bastille Asylum for Misfits and Miscreants
Head of the Asylum
I peeled off my clothes and tossed them into the nearest hamper. Thankfully I always carried some spare clothes. As I dressed myself I glanced at the small pocket watch dangling from my neck. Father had given it to me when I first became a nurse at the Asylum. It was getting late and I was expected. I pulled my stockings tight and slipped on my white dress. My hair was brushed and left free. I tied my apron back on and slipped in my shoes before stepping out of the orderlies’ quarters. I never understood Father’s paranoia that one of the inmates would escape. Even if they had somehow magically passed through the bars of their cell, there were still the other gates. I attempted to count the number of times I had to unlock all door and the gates once but I lost count after some time. I stepped back out into the main hall and I walked down to Monsieur Bastille’s former office. The occupant of it now was Doctor Sodheim, our Chief Surgeon…and my lover.
It was last year after Scarlet was admitted when Dr. Benjamin Sodheim came to the Asylum. Our former Chief Surgeon had died and we were in need of a new one. And then this amazing man answered our prayers. He was a man of thirty-three. He had wild, and almost untamable, white hair. His face was hard and cold and his brow was eternally furrowed. I had never known a man to have black eyes before until I met Dr. Sodheim. There was something about him that captivated me. A few months had passed and I did everything I could to earn his attention. It seemed to be vain though, until one day I was assisting with a patient’s lobotomy.
“Would you like to do the honors?” He asked in his gravelly voice.
The spike in his hand called out to me, begging me to grab hold of it. My heart beat against my chest to the point where I knew it would explode if I didn’t do something soon. My fingers wrapped around the cold metal spike and my fingers brushed his. I gazed up at him to see his black eyes were staring back at me. Ben brought his free hand up to my cheek and leaned in slowly. His lips were icy but I relished in the cold. The patient strapped down below us began to bark. Ben smiled for the first time at me. He guided the spike in my hand and he held the hammer in his free hand. Together we lobotomized the patient together and then we kissed again.
After that moment it hit me. I knew that once Father died I would never be in control of the Asylum. It would go to someone else. I was a woman after all and therefore “inferior”. So I convinced Father to name Ben as his successor. He was completely fine with this but, however, he wasn’t too happy that I had shown interest in Sodheim. I guess I will always be a little girl to my father and he will do everything in his power to keep me from marrying as long as he can. But when Ben promised that when he takes over the Asylum he’ll marry me. And that means I’ll be one step closer to having my dream come true.
I gently knocked on the office door. There was no sound. Again I knocked. This time a short grunt and mumble was heard from the other side of the door. I twisted the handle and entered. Inside there was Ben sitting at his desk. He was going over some book on anatomy. Heaven knows which one. He has so many of them. All I could make out was a single picture of a person’s slit throat. Ben looked up and closed the book. I gave him a small smile.
“How are you this evening?” He asked standing up.
“Alright.” I said.
“How were rounds?”
“Same as usual.” I said. “Lunatics sobbing, cursing, or screaming at me.”
“Are you tired from your long day?” He asked.
“Very much, what does the doctor prescribe?” I smiled at him. Ben walked over and pulled me close in his arms.
“I’m afraid that you are going to have to spend the rest of the night in bed.” He gave me a small smirk before pushing me up against the wall. “Don’t worry I’ll take care of you tonight, Nurse Smyth.”
His lips brushed against my neck and I felt his hands come up to my shoulders. His mouth was cold, as always. With every piece of clothing he removed he then kissed the bare skin. The last thing he removed was my stockings. Ben got down on his knees and kissed my legs softly. Then my thighs and slowly he worked himself back to my lips. He picked me and carried me to his desk. He pushed off his papers and books off and laid me down on it. And for a few minutes he just looked at me. I always hated this part. I love Ben with everything I have but every time we make love I feel scared sometimes. Like at that moment. The way he looked at me. It’s the same look he gives to any body in one of his books or in a morgue or when he is about to perform surgery. It’s almost a look of hunger. It frightens me but then I think that I’m so silly for thinking these things. What person would kill the woman they loved? Scarlet was insane. He and all the others are exceptions. Ben is doctor, a respected and sane man. He wouldn’t do anything to hurt me. I know this. I have to believe this. Finally after a few minutes of inspection he begins to kiss me again and undress himself. I love Ben…fear does not belong in the same house of love. Ben will never hurt me…
At one point we ended up on the floor with only Ben’s coat covering ourselves. Ben took a small puff from his cigarette before blowing it the smoke from his lips. I rested my head on his chest and we sat in silence. I would have to leave soon. Father would worry where I was and this was definitely not the place to find his daughter. I crawled over to my clothes on the other side of the room when I felt Ben’s cold grip on my ankle.
“Where are you going?” He asked in a tired tone.
“Father will be expecting me.” I replied. “I have to get back to house.” I reached for my clothes but Ben gave a sharp tug on my ankle. I winced and then looked back to him.
“I said I was to look after you tonight.” I smiled at him.
“You say that every time, Doctor. Now please let me get dressed.” I touched my apron and felt the bottle of chloroform inside the pocket.
“I said you’re staying here.” He growled. I was afraid of this. Ben tends to be…overly affectionate. He likes to hold me and never let me go sometimes. He pulled me back to him. “You’re not going anywhere.” His dark eyes burned into mine. I smiled and slowly nodded. Ben is such a loving man but if he would just let me go to my own bed and sleep…
“I want to do something for you.” I said brushing my hand down his thigh. “But you must promise to be quiet. Will you do that for me?” He smirked.
“I’m sure I can manage that.” He said sarcastically. I frowned.
“I don’t trust you.” I went to my apron and pulled out a handkerchief. “I’ve heard the noise you make, lover, and I need you to be as quiet as the grave.”
I quickly dabbed the handkerchief with the chloroform that I had hidden. I slowly crawled back to Ben who was smiling ear to ear. I placed the handkerchief just below his nose and in a few seconds he was out like a light. I sighed and walked over to my clothes. I quickly dressed myself and Ben. I had had much practice doing this. There were times when Ben needed to be…sedated. I made sure to not make a habit out of doing this. Sometimes I used some of Father’s other sedatives. Pills, powders, potions, whatever I could use to give myself a few minutes to recover. Putting Ben back in his chair was always the hard part. I was able to set him in after a few minutes. I smoothed my dress out and I bent over and kissed Ben on the cheek. He’d wake up with a small headache but he’ll just think that he fell asleep after I left. I headed out of his office and made my way to see Father.
I stopped by the orderlies’ quarters first. I brushed my hair again and dabbed two drops of lavender perfume on my neck. I smiled as I walked down to Father’s office. I felt a little bad for lying to him but in some cases, especially when it comes to parents, it is necessary to protect others with a lie. Normally I don’t condone this but as I said earlier it is necessary.
I was almost to Father’s office when I heard a loud crash. I heard Father scream. I raced to his door to find that it was locked.
“Father!” I cried. “Father open the door!”
I pounded my fist on the door. I heard footsteps behind me and I turned to see several orderlies. One pushed me aside and kicked the door down. I rushed inside to see that my father was nowhere to be found. I felt a cold wind and I looked up to see that his window had been shattered. I walked over to the window and gasped at what I saw. It was my father sprawled out on the ground. Blood was splattered everywhere and his head was twisted and…
I fell to my knees and lost my dinner. An orderly patted my back for me. I slowly stood up and I noticed someone was standing over my father. I couldn’t make the person out though. The shadowy figure looked up at me before taking off into the night. I ran out of the office and I quickly opened every door and gate to get outside. I saw the body and I sat down next to him. Tears started to pour from my eyes. Father’s face was twisted in shock. Had he just fallen out? How could this have happened? Why did this happen?
It wasn’t long before they took Father…the body away. The police said it was an accident or possibly a suicide, the latter being completely absurd. Ben woke up soon after the event and he held me close to him. He didn’t say a word. He just held me and that’s more than I could have asked for in that moment. Ben walked me to the house behind the Asylum and kissed me good night. He told me that he would be staying overnight in his office if I needed anything. I thanked him and walked inside to my bedroom and fell on to my bed.
I wanted to be the head of the Asylum. I dream and dream about it ever since I was a child. I guess I got my wish.
Sincerely,
Lizzie Lobotomy
J.S.
Asylum Letter VI from Lizzie Lobotomy from the Bastille Asylum for Misfits and Miscreants
Head of the Asylum
I peeled off my clothes and tossed them into the nearest hamper. Thankfully I always carried some spare clothes. As I dressed myself I glanced at the small pocket watch dangling from my neck. Father had given it to me when I first became a nurse at the Asylum. It was getting late and I was expected. I pulled my stockings tight and slipped on my white dress. My hair was brushed and left free. I tied my apron back on and slipped in my shoes before stepping out of the orderlies’ quarters. I never understood Father’s paranoia that one of the inmates would escape. Even if they had somehow magically passed through the bars of their cell, there were still the other gates. I attempted to count the number of times I had to unlock all door and the gates once but I lost count after some time. I stepped back out into the main hall and I walked down to Monsieur Bastille’s former office. The occupant of it now was Doctor Sodheim, our Chief Surgeon…and my lover.
*****
It was last year after Scarlet was admitted when Dr. Benjamin Sodheim came to the Asylum. Our former Chief Surgeon had died and we were in need of a new one. And then this amazing man answered our prayers. He was a man of thirty-three. He had wild, and almost untamable, white hair. His face was hard and cold and his brow was eternally furrowed. I had never known a man to have black eyes before until I met Dr. Sodheim. There was something about him that captivated me. A few months had passed and I did everything I could to earn his attention. It seemed to be vain though, until one day I was assisting with a patient’s lobotomy.
“Would you like to do the honors?” He asked in his gravelly voice.
The spike in his hand called out to me, begging me to grab hold of it. My heart beat against my chest to the point where I knew it would explode if I didn’t do something soon. My fingers wrapped around the cold metal spike and my fingers brushed his. I gazed up at him to see his black eyes were staring back at me. Ben brought his free hand up to my cheek and leaned in slowly. His lips were icy but I relished in the cold. The patient strapped down below us began to bark. Ben smiled for the first time at me. He guided the spike in my hand and he held the hammer in his free hand. Together we lobotomized the patient together and then we kissed again.
After that moment it hit me. I knew that once Father died I would never be in control of the Asylum. It would go to someone else. I was a woman after all and therefore “inferior”. So I convinced Father to name Ben as his successor. He was completely fine with this but, however, he wasn’t too happy that I had shown interest in Sodheim. I guess I will always be a little girl to my father and he will do everything in his power to keep me from marrying as long as he can. But when Ben promised that when he takes over the Asylum he’ll marry me. And that means I’ll be one step closer to having my dream come true.
******
I gently knocked on the office door. There was no sound. Again I knocked. This time a short grunt and mumble was heard from the other side of the door. I twisted the handle and entered. Inside there was Ben sitting at his desk. He was going over some book on anatomy. Heaven knows which one. He has so many of them. All I could make out was a single picture of a person’s slit throat. Ben looked up and closed the book. I gave him a small smile.
“How are you this evening?” He asked standing up.
“Alright.” I said.
“How were rounds?”
“Same as usual.” I said. “Lunatics sobbing, cursing, or screaming at me.”
“Are you tired from your long day?” He asked.
“Very much, what does the doctor prescribe?” I smiled at him. Ben walked over and pulled me close in his arms.
“I’m afraid that you are going to have to spend the rest of the night in bed.” He gave me a small smirk before pushing me up against the wall. “Don’t worry I’ll take care of you tonight, Nurse Smyth.”
His lips brushed against my neck and I felt his hands come up to my shoulders. His mouth was cold, as always. With every piece of clothing he removed he then kissed the bare skin. The last thing he removed was my stockings. Ben got down on his knees and kissed my legs softly. Then my thighs and slowly he worked himself back to my lips. He picked me and carried me to his desk. He pushed off his papers and books off and laid me down on it. And for a few minutes he just looked at me. I always hated this part. I love Ben with everything I have but every time we make love I feel scared sometimes. Like at that moment. The way he looked at me. It’s the same look he gives to any body in one of his books or in a morgue or when he is about to perform surgery. It’s almost a look of hunger. It frightens me but then I think that I’m so silly for thinking these things. What person would kill the woman they loved? Scarlet was insane. He and all the others are exceptions. Ben is doctor, a respected and sane man. He wouldn’t do anything to hurt me. I know this. I have to believe this. Finally after a few minutes of inspection he begins to kiss me again and undress himself. I love Ben…fear does not belong in the same house of love. Ben will never hurt me…
*****
At one point we ended up on the floor with only Ben’s coat covering ourselves. Ben took a small puff from his cigarette before blowing it the smoke from his lips. I rested my head on his chest and we sat in silence. I would have to leave soon. Father would worry where I was and this was definitely not the place to find his daughter. I crawled over to my clothes on the other side of the room when I felt Ben’s cold grip on my ankle.
“Where are you going?” He asked in a tired tone.
“Father will be expecting me.” I replied. “I have to get back to house.” I reached for my clothes but Ben gave a sharp tug on my ankle. I winced and then looked back to him.
“I said I was to look after you tonight.” I smiled at him.
“You say that every time, Doctor. Now please let me get dressed.” I touched my apron and felt the bottle of chloroform inside the pocket.
“I said you’re staying here.” He growled. I was afraid of this. Ben tends to be…overly affectionate. He likes to hold me and never let me go sometimes. He pulled me back to him. “You’re not going anywhere.” His dark eyes burned into mine. I smiled and slowly nodded. Ben is such a loving man but if he would just let me go to my own bed and sleep…
“I want to do something for you.” I said brushing my hand down his thigh. “But you must promise to be quiet. Will you do that for me?” He smirked.
“I’m sure I can manage that.” He said sarcastically. I frowned.
“I don’t trust you.” I went to my apron and pulled out a handkerchief. “I’ve heard the noise you make, lover, and I need you to be as quiet as the grave.”
I quickly dabbed the handkerchief with the chloroform that I had hidden. I slowly crawled back to Ben who was smiling ear to ear. I placed the handkerchief just below his nose and in a few seconds he was out like a light. I sighed and walked over to my clothes. I quickly dressed myself and Ben. I had had much practice doing this. There were times when Ben needed to be…sedated. I made sure to not make a habit out of doing this. Sometimes I used some of Father’s other sedatives. Pills, powders, potions, whatever I could use to give myself a few minutes to recover. Putting Ben back in his chair was always the hard part. I was able to set him in after a few minutes. I smoothed my dress out and I bent over and kissed Ben on the cheek. He’d wake up with a small headache but he’ll just think that he fell asleep after I left. I headed out of his office and made my way to see Father.
I stopped by the orderlies’ quarters first. I brushed my hair again and dabbed two drops of lavender perfume on my neck. I smiled as I walked down to Father’s office. I felt a little bad for lying to him but in some cases, especially when it comes to parents, it is necessary to protect others with a lie. Normally I don’t condone this but as I said earlier it is necessary.
I was almost to Father’s office when I heard a loud crash. I heard Father scream. I raced to his door to find that it was locked.
“Father!” I cried. “Father open the door!”
I pounded my fist on the door. I heard footsteps behind me and I turned to see several orderlies. One pushed me aside and kicked the door down. I rushed inside to see that my father was nowhere to be found. I felt a cold wind and I looked up to see that his window had been shattered. I walked over to the window and gasped at what I saw. It was my father sprawled out on the ground. Blood was splattered everywhere and his head was twisted and…
I fell to my knees and lost my dinner. An orderly patted my back for me. I slowly stood up and I noticed someone was standing over my father. I couldn’t make the person out though. The shadowy figure looked up at me before taking off into the night. I ran out of the office and I quickly opened every door and gate to get outside. I saw the body and I sat down next to him. Tears started to pour from my eyes. Father’s face was twisted in shock. Had he just fallen out? How could this have happened? Why did this happen?
It wasn’t long before they took Father…the body away. The police said it was an accident or possibly a suicide, the latter being completely absurd. Ben woke up soon after the event and he held me close to him. He didn’t say a word. He just held me and that’s more than I could have asked for in that moment. Ben walked me to the house behind the Asylum and kissed me good night. He told me that he would be staying overnight in his office if I needed anything. I thanked him and walked inside to my bedroom and fell on to my bed.
I wanted to be the head of the Asylum. I dream and dream about it ever since I was a child. I guess I got my wish.
Sincerely,
Lizzie Lobotomy
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