I was at work scratching my head about what to write about and then I got my answer from one of my friends at work. He had recently broken up with his girlfriend and asked me if I could stay a little bit longer just to talk. And as we talked I kept seeing little red flags pop up when he talked about her. And I even made a point to tell him that. But he would say "No, I'm saying that wrong". So I listened and more and more red flags kept popping up.
Then a thought came to me. Why, why do we rationalize our bad relationships? Why stay with someone that makes you feel like your the only in the relationship? And then the wisest of sayings crept out of my memory.
"We accept the love we think we deserve"
Who in their right mind would think that they deserved that? And then I remember my one and only ex-girlfriend. I remember our eight months together and how I was always getting burned. Why didn't I get out sooner? I was young, that was my very first relationship, and I thought that I deserved it. I thought that I deserved all the things she put me through. So today I want to tell you what you deserve.
1 Kindness-Everyone deserves someone who is kind. Someone that will hold you at your weakest and embrace you at your strongest. Someone who cares for you and not just themselves. And if you
2 Patience-Everyone deserves someone that will be patient. Sometimes we have things that we need to get through and that takes time. A person who loves you will not only wait but try to help you through whatever you are going through.
3 Honesty-Honesty and communication are the keys to any good relationship. Love doesn't keep secrets or makes you paranoid about your significant other. Be open with each other.
4 Acceptance-Love accepts you for you. It doesn't make you change yourself for somebody else. If you want to change yourself for your own needs then love supports it. Love sees all of your quirks and tells you how unique and amazing you are.
5 Safety-The one you are with should make you feel like you are safe in their arms and vice versa.You should feel safe that you are not going to be judge by something you do or say. When you are lying in bed together, or on the couch watching a movie or TV, you should feel protected from outside world. The reason why is whenever you two are alone you are in a sacred and safe place that only you two know.
6 Hope-A loving person hopes for the future and works hard at making that future a reality. They doesn't sit and waste their time nor do they focus on the negative aspects of life. Instead they try and look on the brighter side of things and make things better.
7 Reliability-You should be able to count on someone. Someone that keeps their appointments and doesn't fall back on their promises is a good person. If someone says 'I'm always here for you whenever you need me' best keep that promise. Love is the person you call at 2 am when you're car is broken down on the side of the road.
9 Empathy-A caring person is someone that everyone needs. Not only will they ask about your problems and try to make you feel better, they will also go out and try to help their fellow man. A person who doesn't care about other living creatures doesn't have much love in their hearts. Also there are times when people get into a disagreement and sometimes it gets heated. A real realationship moves past it and forgives.
10 Fun-And this is the most important one. Love is fun. Love makes you feel like your a little kid again. It makes you believe in the magic of your childhood. It sees a hill and tells you 'hey let's have a race to see who can roll down that hill the fastest'. It makes you laugh, smile, and takes your breath away. A relationship without fun has no life and won't thrive.
I'm not saying that you need all of this but you do need a lot of it. It's what we all desreve in relationships. However there are also things we do not deserve.
We do not deserve abuse. If you are ever hit by someone then you leave. Love is not abusive. Love doesn't take list of all of your flaws. Love doesn't lie to you. Love doesn't force you to do things that you don't want to do. Love doesn't make you sacrifice. Love doesn't make you fear. Love isn't proud or boastful. Love isn't in it just for the sex or your appearence. Love does not dishonor you or others. Love doesn't leave you as a second choice.
And I really could go on but you get the picture I'm sure.
You, stranger at your computer, deserve love and happiness. It is one of our unalienable rights. Something that can never be taken away. And I hope you receive that gift, if you haven't already. And if you haven't know that I love you.
Till Thursday, Sprinkes,
Love always and Icing Kisses
J.S.
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