Get Out And Do It!

So I just got over being sick.

Monday I was going to do all of these things but I stayed in bed, leaving only to scavenge for food and water. Much later in the day I went outside to read and I immediately felt better. Why hadn't I done this soon? I could have easily walked outside, realized that all I need was some fresh air, and gone through with all of my little projects. Bit of a bummer.

Today is my second day off and I am going to do everything. I'm about to go shower and clean up for the day and then I'm off on my adventure.

So, last Saturday I was going to to Veronica Varlow's online tarot class. Unfortunately, I wasn't able to attend due to me being an idiot and closing the window, with my one-time code, right as the class started. I was so pissed off.

 I wanted to scream.

 I wanted to cry.

I wanted to break everything in the house.

But thankfully I have friends. May was able to talk me down and he told me to de-stress was a hot bath. I lit some candles, I put on some music (because music is magic and it can change any situation instantly) threw in a bath bomb and I turned out the lights. After a good soak I did feel much better and thankfully Veronica records her classes and I'll get to see what I missed out on. So if you aren't feeling motivated take a hot bath or shower. Wash away the gloom, the negativity, the lethargy, and the funk. Put on some music and get into adventure spirit. Do something today and do it well.

Here's a little playlist I made for my magical bath. Or if you've already cleaned up for the day I like listening to Frank Turner to feel energized.

Alright everyone, you have your assignment. Have a great day and let me know in the comments what you did today

Love,

J.S.

Tell Me About It Tuesday: That's Amore

Welcome to the first entry of Tell Me About It Tuesdays.

I was at work scratching my head about what to write about and then I got my answer from one of my friends at work. He had recently broken up with his girlfriend and asked me if I could stay a little bit longer just to talk. And as we talked I kept seeing little red flags pop up when he talked about her. And I even made a point to tell him that. But he would say "No, I'm saying that wrong". So I listened and more and more red flags kept popping up.

Then a thought came to me. Why, why do we rationalize our bad relationships? Why stay with someone that makes you feel like your the only in the relationship? And then the wisest of sayings crept out of my memory.


"We accept the love we think we deserve"


Who in their right mind would think that they deserved that? And then I remember my one and only ex-girlfriend. I remember our eight months together and how I was always getting burned. Why didn't I get out sooner? I was young, that was my very first relationship, and I thought that I deserved it. I thought that I deserved all the things she put me through.  So today I want to tell you what you deserve.

1 Kindness-Everyone deserves someone who is kind. Someone that will hold you at your weakest and embrace you at your strongest. Someone who cares for you and not just themselves. And if you

2 Patience-Everyone deserves someone that will be patient. Sometimes we have things that we need to get through and that takes time. A person who loves you will not only wait but try to help you through whatever you are going through.

3 Honesty-Honesty and communication are the keys to any good relationship. Love doesn't keep secrets or makes you paranoid about your significant other. Be open with each other.

4 Acceptance-Love accepts you for you. It doesn't make you change yourself for somebody else. If you want to change yourself for your own needs then love supports it. Love sees all of your quirks and tells you how unique and amazing you are.

5 Safety-The one you are with should make you feel like you are safe in their arms and vice versa.You should feel safe that you are not going to be judge by something you do or say. When you are lying in bed together, or on the couch watching a movie or TV, you should feel protected from outside world. The reason why is whenever you two are alone you are in a sacred and safe place that only you two know.

6 Hope-A loving person hopes for the future and works hard at making that future a reality. They doesn't sit and waste their time nor do they focus on the negative aspects of life. Instead they try and look on the brighter side of things and make things  better.

7 Reliability-You should be able to count on someone. Someone that keeps their appointments and doesn't fall back on their promises is a good person. If someone says 'I'm always here for you whenever you need me' best keep that promise. Love is the person you call at 2 am when you're car is broken down on the side of the road.

9 Empathy-A caring person is someone that everyone needs. Not only will they ask about your problems and try to make you feel better, they will also go out and try to help their fellow man. A person who doesn't care about other living creatures doesn't have much love in their hearts. Also there are times when people get into a disagreement and sometimes it gets heated. A real realationship moves past it and forgives.

10 Fun-And this is the most important one. Love is fun. Love makes you feel like your a little kid again. It makes you believe in the magic of your childhood. It sees a hill and tells you 'hey let's have a race to see who can roll down that hill the fastest'. It makes you laugh, smile, and takes your breath away. A relationship without fun has no life and won't thrive.

I'm not saying that you need all of this but you do need a lot of it. It's what we all desreve in relationships. However there are also things we do not deserve.

We do not deserve abuse. If you are ever hit by someone then you leave. Love is not abusive. Love doesn't take list of all of your flaws. Love doesn't lie to you. Love doesn't force you to do things that you don't want to do. Love doesn't make you sacrifice. Love doesn't make you fear. Love isn't proud or boastful. Love isn't in it just for the sex or your appearence. Love does not dishonor you or others. Love doesn't leave you as a second choice.

And I really could go on but you get the picture I'm sure.

You, stranger at your computer, deserve love and  happiness. It is one of our unalienable rights. Something that can never be taken away. And I hope you receive that gift, if you haven't already. And if you haven't know that I love you.

Till Thursday, Sprinkes,

Love always and Icing Kisses

J.S.

Who Are You?

Last night I was with some friends and a wise woman said to this little girl:

"You know what if someone went up to you asked 'who are you?' do you know how you would answer them?'

She thought for a second.

"I would tell them I'm a dancer."

This girl is twelve and already she knows who she is and I think that is fantastic.

When we're younger we know exactly who we want to be when we grow up but somehow along the way we forget and we struggle to find ourselves again.

When I was a little kid I remember I wanted to be an actor or a performer or really anything to do with being on stage in front of a lot of people. I wanted to be on a stage and sing or make people laugh. I had a small taste of that when I was ten years old and I did The Wizard of Oz. I had two roles in that show. The first was being one of the Munchkins that Dorothy meets after her landing in Oz and my lines consisted of part of a song and two or three sentences. My second role was being one of the soliders in the Emerald City. It was really cute how we did it. We had the general, who was the tallest of us, bark orders to the other soliders and each soldier would relay the order down the line till they reached the shortest soldier namely me. And then I would act out the order. So I did a few military marching steps before collapsing on the ground and telling them my feet hurt. This got a few laughs and then I got to argue with the general and I convinced him, and the other guys, that if they didn't obey my commands then I wouldn't march. Silly I know but it was a great scene. Right after that I got to attack the Cowardly Lion and him and I had a lot of fun doing that scene. And I enjoyed hearing the laughter from the audience and when the time came for the curtain call I was filled with joy.

(Me in high school rehearsing The Manhattan Project's Alice in Wonderland)

The reason I didn't act again until high school was because our director was a horrible woman and she ran the theatre like a dictator. So I steered clear for a long time. And I still had that urge, that need to be on stage again. So I tried out for UIL (University Interscholastic League) speaking events and it just wasn't the same. But along the way to high school I found out that I really enjoyed writing. In the 6th grade I met a fantastic woman and she was my English teacher. At one point the students were asked to do a writing prompt and the work had to be a thousand words or less. I was writing my paper and when I noticed I had already written about five pages I went up to my teacher and I told that I was well over a thousand words but my story was no where near complete. She smiled at me and said:

"Then keep working on it. And promise me something? When you publish your first book please dedicate it to me."

And I did.

But that is another story for another time

There were times were I really couldn't remember what I wanted to do with my life. Everyone I knew wanted me to be something else and a lot of them didn't support my ideas or dreams. And I was lost for a bit and I really didn't know what I was going to do but then I found a kindred spirit that wanted a lot of the same things I did. I will never stop trying to make those dreams a reality. Casanova Cupcake is so much to me. And now I'm doing my burlesque classes, which are great by the way, and I feel like I'm reconnecting with that part of me when I was a little kid. I really think that he'd be proud of me.

So I guess if anyone were to ask me 'who are you?' I think I'd answer.

"I'm Jay. I'm a performer and a writer."

So, if you don't me asking, Sprinkles, who are you?

Icing kisses,

J.S.

P.S. here is a hint for what my routine is going to be.

Dealing With Depression

So for the past two weeks I’ve neglected the blog and I’m sorry for that. The reason why is I was really tired and depressed. The week of Anime Matsuri May-May and I spent most of the time packing and finishing things up for the weekend. The following week I woke up and I didn’t want to do anything. Pure laziness and felt like I really let myself and you Sprinkles down. There are times in life where you have to pick yourself up and run the extra mile. So this week I want to talk about ways to deal with depression and get you out of a funk.

1.) Music- I had a pretty tough day at work today. I opened at 7:30 am and worked until 6 pm and it was a pretty busy day. I had to deal with some really rude people also and it was really trying my patience. As soon as I get off work and I turned on my Ipod and hit I shuffle. The first song that came up was Always look on the Brightside of Life. I smiled and laughed because it was really what I needed to hear after today. Music can instantly change the atmosphere in any situation. If you put on some good tunes it’ll easily lift your spirits.

2.) Write It Out-Whenever I have a lot on my mind I write it out in my journal. It’s like the emotions escape onto the page and my mind is clear. Now my journal is really special because I draw and paste or glue things in it as well. It’s almost like a scrapbook. So for you people that journal find some pictures, flowers, material, clips from magazines or newspapers, and start putting them in the pages. Incorporate your words and drawings with your own findings and make it your own. And for those of you who don’t journal trying doing this instead. Try writing out your emotions in a poem. It really helps me out.

3.) Connect With Nature-Sometimes the best thing you can do is go outside for a walk. There’s a nice little park that’s about ten minutes away from my house. I love to go there and read or walk. Also there is a pretty tree that I always hug when I go by it. That’s right. I’m a tree hugger. Sitting outside on a pretty day and watching and listening to your surrounding is a great way to reconnect. And it’s a great way to clear off the negative vibes.

4.) Retail Therapy-Sometimes a little splurge is good. Buying something for yourself can be a good thing and it’s even better if you can find a deal. When we went to Anime Matsuri I had saved up some cash to splurge on myself. I bought books, some movies, jewelry, and a couples pieces of clothes. But there have been times when I’ve gone to the clearance bin at my local bookstore, Hobby Lobby, or Hot Topic and I’ve scored big time. So spend, either a lot or a little, on yourself and it could really turn your entire day around.

5.) Pamper Yourself-One of my favorite things to do is to take a bath. My amazing boyfriend bought me some great soaps for Christmas. I love soaps and all the smells that come with them. Another thing that instantly breaks my depression is using a bath bomb. A bath bomb is fizzy bubble bath and aromatherapy all in one. Check out LUSH or Etsy for bath bombs. Trust me on this they are fucking fantastic. Lights some candles and wash away all your troubles.

Well that’s all for this week you guys and you’ll hear all about our trip to Houston next week.

Love 

J.S.

Everyday Magic

Hello, Sprinkles!

First off I want to thank all of you from the bottom of my heart for being so amazing. All of you have made May and me very happy with all of the positive comments, the likes, and telling everyone and your grandmother about us. We feel very loved and blessed and we are working our little Victorian butts off to make you all proud. And hopefully we will be seeing some of you guys face to face in upcoming tours (we pray). Please stay tuned as the official release date of the CD is fast approaching. Not to mention all the new merchandise. 

So today I wanted to write something personal before we jump back through the twisted metal gates of the Bastille Asylum. I am a believer in magic. I do believe that it exists and that sometimes magic just seems to speak to us.

Two weeks ago May-May had made himself a mermaid tail and I asked him to make me one too. He did and the next week I tried mine out in the pool. Ever since I was a little boy I had always wanted to be a merperson. The idea of having a tail and swimming through the sea, collecting sunken treasure, and playing with dolphins and other little fish had always been a fantasy I wanted to make true. And now here I was in the water with a bright turquoise tail covering my legs. It wasn’t easy at first but I was able to finally swim with it. I felt at home in a way and I won’t lie I very much wanted to belt out Part of your World from the Little Mermaid. For a brief hour or so I felt like mermaid. I had visions of sitting on a rock near shore and brushing my hair with a fork and holding a piece of broken glass to gaze at my reflection. I looked over at May and he was a natural. My pyromaniac pirate friend was an absolute perfect mermaid and I was so happy to share this with him. We talked of the ocean and songs and other magical things.  I really wished I had an underwater camera so I could show you all how amazing it was. Maybe the next time I’m over at May’s I’ll get a picture of each of us in our tails. Wouldn’t that be a sight ;) ?

But the magical thing about it all was that a terrible storm was fast approaching our little mermaid paradise. The sky rumbled and cracked with lightning and yet not a single drop of water nor any powerful wind breached our sanctuary. We swam for a long time and we could see the storm was very much upon us yet it never fully reached us. Maybe it was the sea nymphs and fairies. Maybe they thought we were their kin and protected us. All I know is that as soon as we dried off and headed inside the sky opened and the rain fell.

Another moment of magic was just two days ago. I went to go visit the love of my life and he was talking on the phone with his aunt. After he finished we hugged and said our hellos and he smiled happily and told me that I needed to go see something in his room. I walked in and I saw something I hadn’t seen in a very long time. A fort, a fort made of pillows and blankets. He jumped up and down and I couldn’t help but smile and laugh with him. It was another magical moment when we crawled under the fort and held each other and watched movies later that night. I felt like I was six years old again. I remember making similar forts to read my books or watch movies or to hide under if I was ever scared. That same feeling of safety and happiness washed over me as we spent hours talking about the week and the future. We laughed as we played with the fringe and tassels from the blankets. It was wonderful. The fort felt impenetrable to the outside world and even time itself. As we snuggled watching the movie I felt the best magic of all. Love.  And just like that another happy memory in my life was born.

I guess the message in today’s post is that magic is all around us if we look hard enough. It can be something as fantastic as being a mermaid or something as simple as building of small fort and being with the one you love. Never forget the magic, Sprinkles. Take joy in all the small things.

With much love and icing kisses,

J.S.

P.S. I hope you’re ready from some new characters. The Asylum is about to gain some new members. 

Survival Marks or You're a Fighter and Beautiful

Hello all! I’ve wanted to write this since I read a very beautifully written post by Miss Li-Anne and meeting some new friends rekindled that need to write this. 

So most of you know that I was in a car wreck last year. I hit my one year anniversary of that wreck, among other things, last month. How did I total my truck you ask? Well, like most of time in my life, I was running late. I had just come back home and I had forgotten to wrap my Christmas presents for my friends at school. It was cold outside but there weren’t any flakes on the ground so I thought I was going to be ok. I spent maybe an half an hour wrapping the gifts before I went outside to put all my things back in my truck. Snow, which I have labeled the ‘White Death’ at times, had covered everything. I had never in my entire life driven in snow. East Texas doesn’t get that much snow to begin with but this year it almost a blizzard. I took a breath and quickly packed my truck. It was full to the brim with laundry, bedding, the Christmas presents, and many, many more things.  I had just enough room to turn the wheel and shift gears easily. I started the truck and made my way to the road. I barely started down it before I started slipping. I pulled over and put it four-wheel-drive and started again. Much easier this time so I felt better about it. I noticed that I needed gas so I started towards town. Down the road I live on there is this hill. Towards bottom of it is a bridge. Somehow, someway, I hit  patch of black ice and I crashed into this bridge going around 40 some odd miles. Thankfully, and I do think this was the key to my survival, my laundry took most of the blow. But I when I hit the bridge the air bag went off. I was thrown forward, then back, and then forward again. This time my seatbelt had snapped and my head hit the cracked windshield.  From the middle of my head there was a zigzag and sort of loop to the right side cut. I would learn later from the EMT that I was almost scalped but thankfully that wasn’t the case.

I knew that I had wrecked and several thoughts came to me at once:

 1) Oh *%$&

2) Man after all that work on my truck and now it’s totaled. (I had just installed new brakes. Fat lot of good it did right?)

3) Oh God my mother is going to freak

4)Oooooooooow

5) Am I bleeding?

6) Can I still move my fingers, toes, neck?

7) Where is my phone? I need help

I stepped out of the truck because I knew I wasn’t going to find help just lying there. Plus I needed to know if I could still walk and with that I found my answer. However, being in a wreck can really mess with your equilibrium so after one step out I fall on my ass. I hear someone calling out to me. At first I was thinking “Light at the end of the tunnel?” but no it was a nurse who happened to be visiting a patient nearby. She had seen my wreck and had already called 911. She rushed over and applied pressure to my head and began the standard questions one would ask someone if they had a concussion. What is your name? Can you move everything? What hurts? Who is president? etc.  More thoughts began to race into my head.

How was I going to inform my friends, whom I consider family, about this?

What about Nathan?

NATHAN!

The first guy I start a relationship with (we had just made it official eight hours prior to the wreck) and I wreck.

 I am not going to die here in some ditch, like Mom had always had nightmares about, after all of that.  Damn it I am going to survive from this. *@&$ you, Death, it is not my time.

I found my drive. Despite everything being cold and incredibly bright I stayed conscious. I was taken to the local hospital where seven other people had wreck around the same time I had. I had the glass removed from my head. And the only painful thing that I experienced from that incident was not glass, or the 37 staples that were put in my head, but the IV needle. At this point everyone breathed in a sigh of relief and knew that I was going to be fine.  I was cracking jokes because I wanted to reassure everyone that I truly was alright. And after six hours on that gurney I was finally able to leave the hospital.

At first I made jokes about my scar. Like I’m a boy and I lived so I must be Harry Potter. Or that I was a mad scientists experiment and so on. But I was really insecure about it. I didn’t feel disfigured or anything but I felt…not broken but ashamed, that the scar had to be hidden. I felt as if a part of my head was missing because I couldn’t feel it for the longest time and it’s only until recently that I’ve been able to. And I don’t know why but I just felt self-conscious about. I grew my hair out and I always kept it covered. Then I was going through Veronica Varlow’s Danger Dame Diary one day and I remember how she was mauled by a dog and how she overcame that. Clarity finally set in and I realized that I was still me, scar or no scar. Not only that but I was still beautiful. Nothing had changed. And then I realized something important. My scar was not a disfigurement or something to be insecure of. I had a mark of survival on me. I had clear visible representation that I was a fighter and that was something to take pride in.  

Scars are beautiful. They show how strong you are and that you’re not going to let something like a car wreck, cancer, or a pissed off Rottweiler stop you from doing what you want to do.  I have several of them and I am proud of each and every one as should the rest of you. You are all beautiful inside and out and nothing is going to change that. 

Wear your marks with pride my friends.

Always with love and icing kisses,

Jay Scarlet

Mapping The Road To World Domination: A Class With Veronica Varlow

This is to make up for the very somber post from a few days ago. I hope you enjoy.

I have always been a fan of Veronica. Ever since I saw my very first video of her on Youtube I was determined to meet this woman. And thankfully I was able to do this, not once but, twice! Here at the college I go to I've been going to all these motivational speakings. It has been very inspirational and after I met a man, Mr. Criox Sather, who was running across America, from coast to coast, I realized that there was something that I had never done. Once in high school my amazing Theatre teacher told us to write to someone that inspired us or was a hero to us. She wanted us to see if we would do it and to see if we would get a response. I sent my to Dean Koontz and I did get a reply. He was a very nice guy to do so but he wasn't really a hero of mine. He was the hero of my then,one and only, girlfriend. But I started to think...who is a real hero to me? Who is someone that makes me feel inspired? That makes me feel alive? Someone that is my family or loved one or friend. And then it came to me. Veronica Varlow.

After that first video I went on to research more about this woman and her profession. All I knew was that she was apart of Emilie Autumn's Bloody Crumpets and that was it. So I got on the Danger Dame website and started to read her blog. She has been through a lot and it inspired me to do more with my life. I started researching more on burlesque and boylesque and practicing my ass off. I started watching more videos and writing down all the ideas of routines I wanted to do. Getting to meet her was amazing but after the speech I realized that I wanted to write to her, my hero. So I did and I got a reply. She was really sweet and she offered me to take her class (see the title) for free. She wanted a personal C.C. CDs for her birthday this upcoming Friday as an exchange and I eagerly agreed.

At first I thought the class would have been a dance class but I was wrong and boy I was happy to be wrong. It was another motivational class so this week has left me completely inspired. In the class we talked about parts of her life and questioned ourselves about what truly makes us happy. I had an amazing time with her and everyone else that was in the webinar. She gave a lot of good points. One of which is that you shouldn't let other people run your life. Don't follow their expectations of you or their "map". Tear that shit up and start drawing your own. And for this map you will need a check list. So let's begin our road trip.

1 Fuel tank of gas-You are the car and you most fuel yourself up with positive and inspirational things. Veronica talked about visual maps. They are very easy to make too. You take some poster board and decorated it with things that you want to have come into your life or things that you wish to see on your journey. I'm going to start making on very soon and I can't wait to start.

2 Maintenance for your vehicle-You are the car and you must be taken care of. This means eating right, exercising, staying healthy, and of course having fun every once in a while.  No one can be work and all play or else that makes you a dull person and in which case causes you to try and murder your family in a haunted hotel. But that's why we have fun so these things don't happen. Veronica talked about how she likes to put exotic scented oils on her bed sheets to help her relax.

3 TRAVEL COMPANIONS!-This was one of my favorite ones. Who is your travel companion? It can be a friend, a lover, a family member, whoever you want but as long as the person is enjoying the trip you are on. Meaning that people have to support you and what you do and if they don't you need to be around people that do. People that care about you and love you for who you are. This is what we all need. Great travel companions.

4 Baggage-It is always better to travel light. Whatever problems or issues that you're holding on to....Throw....Them....Out. You don't need it. It only weighs you down. Veronica had baggage from when she was a five-year-old and her ballet teacher told her that she was dancing "with clouds behind your eyeballs".  Being five, and having no idea what the woman was talking about, Veronica never liked dancing until five years ago. She was afraid to do it and no she's a better person for dumping the unneeded bags.

5 Proper Wardrobe-If you're going to be something you need to dress the part. Veronica is working on a book and when she writes she wear a beret because that is what she believes a writer should wear when they are writing. So she goes down to the cafe' and starts typing out her book and she watches people stop by and ask if she is a writer. Make other people see your dream when they see you. So start wondering what is that you want to be and how can you show it?

6 Stop For Scenic Lookouts-Every good road trip has little stops along the way. We have to be taking pictures of these things. There are several beautiful places on this earth and we should get to see them. Beauty is in everything and when you see it stop and get a good look. Smell the roses and enjoy yourself. Don't let the good things in life pass you by. You may regret it later.

7 Postcards-Whenever you're on vacation make sure that you send these. It shows that you are having a good time. No one writes a postcard saying "wow, this sucks. I wish I wasn't here". They talk about how they wish the person receiving the letter was with them. So Veronica gave us an assignment. Once a month we write a postcard to ourselves and reflect on the good things of that month.

She was a very inspirational teacher and I can't wait to take another one of her classes. I can't wait to go to New York someday and take an actual dance class with her. I also can't wait for the road trips I'm going to take this summer with my amazing boyfriend and of course my partners in crime, May and Roadie. And of course I'll be sending you tons of postcards, Sprinkles! I hope you guys can take some of the stuff I talked about an apply it to your lives. If not wait another month and sign up for Veronica's class. You'll see all the great stuff I got to see and I may even see you there.

Until next time, Sprinkles


Hugs and icing kisses,


Jay Scarlet